Have You Heard "I Hate You" Yet Today?

Today has been particularly trying and though I feel quite vulnerable, I need to share. What else is mommy blogging for, if not the preservation of my sanity? I also fear my child may hate me when the teen years arrive (I'm almost there!) for exploiting these issues. But, I am already hated plenty; so, what have I got to lose?!

I have an explosive child who suffers from ADHD and ODD. In the last few months, I have heard "I hate you" more times than I care to remember. This can be sparked by a negative response to a request or a consequence doled out for poor choices. If I don't do what said child wants, I will also hear this wonderful phrase. At first, I wanted to pound this child. Of course, that's not a wise option. Nor legal.

Then I tried reasoning:

Wise Mother: "Would you want mommy or daddy to say that to you?"

Child (now remorseful): "No."

Wise Mother: "You know it's wrong to say that, right?"

Child (now bored): "Yes."

Duped Mother: "You won't say it anymore?"

Wise Child: "No."

Duped Mother and Wise Child hug and all is right in the world. At least for five minutes, anyway.

We must have had that conversation fifty million times to no avail...obviously, because logic isn't present in the mind of a child in the heat of the moment or any other time. I hear a collective "Duh!" from the rest of you. Hey, I knew it; I was just hoping....

Now, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hear it at least once during the day and decided I would no longer react to this diatribe. I've been known to say, "You know, I haven't heard 'I hate you' enough today," when the little urchin spews those words at me upwards of ten or fifteen times, usually one right after the other while also throwing things and pounding on the walls.

So, today was another weary day (and it's not even over) of hearing the words I love so much. I took another approach, one that may not matter for a while (read: years) but it's important to me. I remembered a Scripture about sin being present where words are many. (The poor child gets it honestly) I opened my Bible right to the spot....ooohhh...scary! I copied it down feeling all wise and motherly, then shared it with my child. The timing may not have been right because I heard, "I know Mo-om!" accompanied by the eye roll when discussing what it meant.

I will not give up, though. I will keep reading it because I believe against all the odds, it will make a difference in this intelligent though moody child's heart and mind in the years to come.

That and not reacting with violence when the inner ugly child rears it's stubborn head.

P.S. Despite the issues we face, this child is actually quite intuitive, encouraging, tenderhearted, and champions the underdog. I can't wait to see what becomes of this beautiful gift from God!