Addict Revealed

I did it. It was hard, but I did it. I gave up coffee. Starbucks, to be exact. I have been addicted for years.

Hi, my name is Melanie and I'm a Starbucks-aholic.

Coffee and I have shared a love affair since I was eight or nine years old when I would visit my grandparents and they'd let me have a cup or two or three. I felt grown up and besides, it tasted good all loaded with sugar. They drank it all day long, even with dinner. Michael's grandparents were the same way.

They also used the powdered non-dairy creamer. I loved it until I discovered half & half. The powdered stuff has never satisfied me since. When I got married and Michael would make me a cup, I wondered how to get him to make it just right, with the correct amount of cream. Then I had an epiphany! "Make it beige,"I told him. Perfect! He got it right every time with that technical instruction.

At this point, I was just drinking any old brand: Folgers, Maxwell House, John Conti. My first encounter with Starbucks left me turning up my nose. We went to Atlanta, Georgia to visit our best friends. This was a yearly trek we made for seven years until they moved back home. On one visit, we went to the mall and there was a Starbucks. People were lined up for miles for this coffee. I had to have some to see what the big deal was. I was not impressed; it was too strong!

I continued to drink my usual brands when a woman at MOPS told us about the business she and her husband started; it was a little coffee stand where you could get your fix while sitting in your car. Drive-thru coffee? Who knew?! That's when I discovered lattes.

With a big company like Starbucks, they didn't last long. And just my luck, one opened up right in front of my neighborhood. I am not kidding. It was literally 90 seconds from my house. My heart pounds as I type. I would go by occasionally, then frequently, then daily.

Michael soon put me on a budget. "Here's a card for you to use. I will fill it every two weeks. When you're out, you have to wait til then to get more or use your own money." This was in addition to my weekly allowance and I was in heaven, plus now I had more than him! ;) It still wasn't enough. So we started buying it to brew at home so it would reduce my daily trips. I even got a grinder so it would be fresh. My obsession quickly grew.

Having two children (one with ADHD, anxiety, etc.), moving across the country, moving across the state, homeschooling, etc. suddenly took me from "I love Starbucks" to "I NEED STARBUCKS!!"

So, after four Java Chip frappuccinos in one week and my weight not budging, I was snapped out of my caffeinated stupor. Also, if I had a cup of coffee I must have something to go with it: scone, muffin, Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake. I realized I was sabotaging my efforts at weight loss with my obsession for Starbucks and sweets. I decided to go cold turkey.

It has been a week and a half, and yes, my family is still alive. I drink Black tea in the morning because I MUST have caffeine. I drink water and green tea the rest of the time. I actually crave less sweets now. I also started exercising....working up to a hundred crunches a day (currently at 65), climbing the stairs in my house, and walking with the family (which will soon have to happen at 3:00am because of the Houston humidity). I feel much better.

I will only drink coffee with dessert when we go out for special occasions or Sundays at church before serving in the nursery or when it's that time of the month or....

Have You Heard "I Hate You" Yet Today?

Today has been particularly trying and though I feel quite vulnerable, I need to share. What else is mommy blogging for, if not the preservation of my sanity? I also fear my child may hate me when the teen years arrive (I'm almost there!) for exploiting these issues. But, I am already hated plenty; so, what have I got to lose?!

I have an explosive child who suffers from ADHD and ODD. In the last few months, I have heard "I hate you" more times than I care to remember. This can be sparked by a negative response to a request or a consequence doled out for poor choices. If I don't do what said child wants, I will also hear this wonderful phrase. At first, I wanted to pound this child. Of course, that's not a wise option. Nor legal.

Then I tried reasoning:

Wise Mother: "Would you want mommy or daddy to say that to you?"

Child (now remorseful): "No."

Wise Mother: "You know it's wrong to say that, right?"

Child (now bored): "Yes."

Duped Mother: "You won't say it anymore?"

Wise Child: "No."

Duped Mother and Wise Child hug and all is right in the world. At least for five minutes, anyway.

We must have had that conversation fifty million times to no avail...obviously, because logic isn't present in the mind of a child in the heat of the moment or any other time. I hear a collective "Duh!" from the rest of you. Hey, I knew it; I was just hoping....

Now, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm going to hear it at least once during the day and decided I would no longer react to this diatribe. I've been known to say, "You know, I haven't heard 'I hate you' enough today," when the little urchin spews those words at me upwards of ten or fifteen times, usually one right after the other while also throwing things and pounding on the walls.

So, today was another weary day (and it's not even over) of hearing the words I love so much. I took another approach, one that may not matter for a while (read: years) but it's important to me. I remembered a Scripture about sin being present where words are many. (The poor child gets it honestly) I opened my Bible right to the spot....ooohhh...scary! I copied it down feeling all wise and motherly, then shared it with my child. The timing may not have been right because I heard, "I know Mo-om!" accompanied by the eye roll when discussing what it meant.

I will not give up, though. I will keep reading it because I believe against all the odds, it will make a difference in this intelligent though moody child's heart and mind in the years to come.

That and not reacting with violence when the inner ugly child rears it's stubborn head.

P.S. Despite the issues we face, this child is actually quite intuitive, encouraging, tenderhearted, and champions the underdog. I can't wait to see what becomes of this beautiful gift from God!

What's In a Name?

Most of my posts have been humorous thus far, but I am a deep, serious person by nature. I tend toward the moody side, often brooding about life (Read: artist.) Even my name means "deep, dark." I was doomed from birth! However, my middle name means "victorious overcomer." Can you say oxymoron?

That said, I actually love my name. I don't run into too many Melanies, so I get to be unique. I have recently made a new friend and we have so much in common including our names, which I actually enjoy. It's like we have an instant connection because of it.

I adore unique names. One of my friends is named Montreece, and another, Samikarla. I met someone a few weeks ago named Maritza. And I love "Ziva" on NCIS. Those are great names! Definitely not on the top ten list of baby names. Even my son's name is unique, though I am hearing it more often. I won't be sharing his name; it's a security issue for this paranoid mommy.

So, how about you? Do you like your name? Is it unique or common? Does that drive you crazy or do you even care?

Laughter IS the Best Medicine

Here's what has us rolling on the floor laughing at our house:

• Dear daughter wants a drink so she gets a cup out of the dishwasher with freshly washed dishes which means some of the cups are filled with water so she decides to dump it out right there rather than in the sink. She doesn't realize the cat is standing on the open door as she pours out the water so it lands on his back. He promptly jumps a foot into the air and now looks like his fur has been spiked with gel. This is one of those stories you try to tell as you laugh and feel like you're going to hyperventilate before you get it out.
  
• Rocket jacked-up on catnip racing back and forth across the furniture then sliding across the end table and falling off.
• Rocket...again...realizing we're leaving the house runs toward the door then slides to a stop only when he hits it.

Apparently, most of the comedy at our home revolves around the kitty.

I know I have many funny stories about my kids but I can't think of any right now. Probably because they're on my last nerve today. Screaming "NO!" about doing school, bossing each other about ridiculous things, lamenting "I hate my life" when grounded...makes Mommy very crabby.

All I want for Mother's Day is for my kids to not fight (sung to the tune of "All I Want For Christmas").

Pain in the...

So much has happened in the last week or so and I am exhausted.

Michael had a severe muscle spasm in his back while we were in DFW (Dallas-Fort Worth) last weekend visiting friends. His doctor prescribed him a muscle relaxer but it didn't help for long so we ended up in the ER late Wednesday night. The doctor gave him a couple shots of something, a prescription for Vicodin and sent him home. He was concerned about taking it so he only took one plus he had to work. Driving and Vicodin...not a good combination.

He was supposed to go to North Carolina for four days for a business trip so he took Friday off so we could take the kids to the zoo and then have a date night. It was a fun day and promised to be an equally fun evening. We went to Tommy Bahamas restaurant in Market Street. We've lived here over two years and have never been there. It was fabulous!! As well it should have been. Tommy thinks as highly of his food as he does his clothing. ;) We also planned to see Baby Mama.

I was looking forward to savoring my meal and talking to my dear husband without breaking up fights or playing 20 questions. Instead, I had to inhale my maple brined grilled pork tenderloin with dried cherry merlot chutney, sweet potatoes and grilled fresh asparagus because my dear husband was getting worse by the minute and squirming in his chair. So much for romance!

He took two of his pain pills when we got home and proceeded to wait for it to kick in. Mind you, he had already taken his muscle relaxer and Advil within the last two hours. When 90 minutes went by and he was still writhing in pain he decided to try out our neighbor's inversion table. It's a piece of equipment where you strap your feet in and hang upside down to stretch out your back. That offered no relief so his doctor said to get to the hospital, that he needed to have an MRI done.

A kind doctor passing by heard him cry out in pain, took pity, and got him a different pain med. This brought his pain level from a 10 to a 5. I teased him that he now had some idea of how painful childbirth is. By 12:30 in the morning, he was admitted to observation. I got home at 1:30 and couldn't get to sleep until 3:30...because I hate to be alone and because the cat wanted to play. The next night...morning...wasn't much better. That furball is down to eight lives.

All the tests were normal and he was able to come home yesterday late afternoon. His doctor said it must be muscular. I'm glad it's nothing requiring surgery but it's frustrating to not have answers for debilitating pain. We're going to consult a chiropractor.

Today has been hard for him because the pain is not gone. And now he has a fever. He just wants to be waited on hand and foot. They go to such extremes to get our attention, don't they?!